It has been three months since you left us and while I don't cry everyday I still do not see a time when I will feel better. I keep hoping for some sign that you are ok and that I will be ok and I have not gotten one. You hear so many stories of people who had visions of their loved ones and it brought comfort and healing and I am angry that I have not gotten that. I feel guilty because I know I told you it was ok to go but I still need you and I guess a part of me wishes I told you not to go. Everyday I hope that I am living up to your expectations of me as a mother and a person and everyday as Ava does something new and amazing it kills me to know you are not here in her life. I love you more than anything and I miss you everyday.
|Ava meeting Grandma|