The 2nd Year is the Hardest

Dear Mom,

It has been two years now and I have to say the second year is harder than the first.  During year one, I was angry - angry at the universe, god, whomever - for making you sick and taking you from me.  I found that I am still angry, but that anger has shifted.  I am angry at you.  I am angry that you abandoned me.  I am angry that I am so heartbroken.  I am angry because you should be here for me - to listen, to give advice, to dry my tears, to help me through life's tough times.  I am angry because you have not given me any sign that things will get better.  I am angry you left Ava without a grandmother.  And most of all, I am angry with myself for being angry with you!  Deep down, I know you fought as hard as you could for as long as you could.  I know it was not your choice to leave.  But, I am still fucking angry...

I love you more than words can ever say and I miss you every day. 

Love always,
M