Nine

 Dear Ava,

I cannot believe that you are nine! Where does the time go. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. Each year I realize how not ready I am for you to grow up.😄

What a crazy year 2020 has been and not in a good way😏 I know it has been a struggle trying to do school from home. I know it has been frustrating and sad to not to see your friends. I hope you know that I have actually enjoyed the time. There will come a day when you don't want to spend time with me all the time or where you are not even living at home anymore so I have tried to cherish this extra time that COVID has given us, even when you are driving me up the wall. 

😡OMG - you certainly know how to push my buttons. You are strong willed for sure! I hope you channel that tenacity into something wonderful one day so it wasn't all wasted on just annoying me.

You are also so caring, sweet, funny, and silly and most of the time you brighten all of our days. Please stay that way. Be confident in who you are. Don't ever change for anyone. Teenage girls can be so mean and judgmental and I don't ever want you to doubt your worth or conform to "fit in". Being popular doesn't mean anything.💖 Kindness, caring, empathy, sense of humor, ability to see beauty in the world - those are the things that matter. 💖

I love watching you do gymnastics and I am proud of how hard you try to always do better. I love playing with you, or coloring, or doing crafts. You are so creative and smart.

It is an absolute pleasure to be your mom and I can't believe how lucky I am. Watching you grow has been one of the greatest joys of my life. You are so loved by so many and I hope you never forget that. Have a wonderful 9th birthday🎂 and keep being you.

Love Always,

Mom

And Just Like That, She's 7

Dear Ava,

I missed 6 so I will try to reflect on the last two years as best as I can!

You, my child, try my patience every day.  You are strong-willed and independent, which I do love.  I don't always love how stubborn you are or how you continue to do things long after being told no, or how you seem to take pleasure in pushing my buttons!

You have such a big heart.  I love that you make things for your friends and family just because.  I love that you get excited for everyone's birthday and not just your own.  You are my lovebug and I hope you will always want to be my big helper.

I love how much you love your grandpa.  I hope you always want to spend time with him, no matter how old you are.  It is such an amazing relationship to watch grow as you do.

You are so incredibly smart and I can't wait to see all the amazing things you will do (I can wait -I don't want time to go too fast!)  I truly believe that you can be and do anything you set your mind to.  It has been crazy watching you learn to read and move on to harder and harder books in no time at all.  I love how much you love math and science and school!  Things that were challenging a few months ago are now a breeze.  I also love how creative and crafty you are.  Your mind amazes me every day.

Being smart and being able to figure things out for yourself is super important.  But I want you to also know how beautiful I think you are inside and out.  I hope I can instill in you the importance of standing up for yourself and your friends.  You can still be a little shy or fearful when it comes to telling people you don't like something.  It is always ok to say no, to tell someone they are being mean, or to walk away.  Please don't ever let anyone make you feel like that is not ok.  Please know that you can always tell me anything as well.  Don't ever keep secrets that might be harmful to you or anyone else.

You are so loved by so many and I hope you see and feel that everyday.  I will make mistakes because I am not prefect but my mistakes don't mean that I love you any less.  You are wanted, you are cherished, never forget.

I can't believe you are seven already!  It has gone by so fast, but I have enjoyed almost every moment of it.  I love you more than you will ever know and I am so lucky that I am your mom.  Happy birthday my baby girl.

Love always,
Mom

On Your 5th Birthday

Dear Ava,

How is it possible that you are already 5 years old and in kindergarten.  You continue to amaze me every day.  You are incredibly smart and I hope you cherish that above all else.  You are also incredibly strong-willed.  As frustrating as it can be to parent you at times, I know that you will be such a strong, fierce, independent woman who will not take any shit from anyone!  You have an amazing sense of humor and a wonderful laugh.  You can frustrate the hell out of me and then turn around to be one of the most loving people I have ever known.  

Every day with you is an adventure (and some are a struggle!), but there is nothing that brings me greater joy than watching you grow and change into the silly, sassy, loving person you are meant to be.  I hope you always know how proud I am of you every day and how much you are loved.  You are smart, you are strong, you are caring, you are independent, you are silly, you are sassy, you are beautiful.  I love you more than you will ever know.

Love,
Mom

Four on the 4th

Dear Ava,

I cannot believe you are four years old.  Where did the time go?  You make me want to pull my hair out half the time, but the other half of the time you are one of the sweetest, smartest, most loving people I know.

 



 I am amazed everyday by how independant you are and how smart you are.  You are certainly beautiful but I hope you always put the worth of your brain above the worth of your beauty.  I have no doubt in my mind that you can and will be whatever you want to be.  The only thing that holds you back is you.  I watch as you try to tie your shoes and get so frustrated that you cannot do it right away and that makes me so frustrated because I want you to understand that things take time.  Not everything in life is easy but if you practice, you will get it.  I hope you never give up on anything that you want.  

You certainly have an amazing personality and you have since day one.  You are a wonderful mommy, you are creative, and a goofball!

You are so loved by so many and I am thankful everyday for all of the wonderful people in your life.  Never lose yourself, never stop being who you are, and never be afraid.  You are so strong and brave and I admire you more than you will ever know.  The last 4 years have been an honor to be your mommy and I can't want to see what the future holds.

Happy fourth birthday you silly, sweet, loving, strong willed little girl!

When You're 64

Dear Mom,

Happy 64th birthday!  There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you.  I miss you more than any words can ever say.  You were a remarkable woman and I wish that I had appreciated that more while you were with me.  This is the first time since you left that I will actually be celebrating your birthday instead of sitting alone crying.  While I can't promise there won't be tears tonight, I imagine they will be tears of joy rather than sadness.  One of the hardest things to come to terms with is that you will not be here to help with Ava, to give advice (wanted or not) on parenting, and to just knock some sense into me.  You are my inspiration and I hope I can be half the person you were.  I love you more than any words can ever express and I hope I am making you proud.

Love forever,
M

3 Years Young

Dear Ava,

3 years ago at 2:14pm you finally decided to grace us with your presence (a week late!). 

 You continue to amaze me everyday.  I recently read through the baby book my mom (your grandma) made for me and she would write notes weekly (or monthly) and it blew my mind because they could have been about you!  You are so sweet and loving, but on your terms.  You are extremely independent - from putting your own clothes on to wanting to pour your own drinks - but I hope you learn as you grow that it is ok to ask for help instead of getting frustrated and throwing a tantrum.  I cannot stress this enough (and if you can read please focus here for a minute) PLEASE STOP WITH THE TANTRUMS!  All in all, you are a very sweet, well behaved little girl.  

You are so so smart it scares me.  You have such an incredible imagination and I love to listen to you tell stories!  I hope you continue to love to read, draw, build, and learn anything and everything.  I know you can be anything you want to be.  I hope you continue to know that so many people love you so much and sometimes family isn't about who you are related to but about who loves you and is there for you.  It amazes me everyday to watch you grow.  You pick up on everything around you and make it your own!  I love not knowing what you will say or do and watching how animated you are when you are talking.

 You were our little miracle and yet I am the one who feels blessed everyday that I get to be your mom.  I am so lucky and my world is so much better and brighter with you in it.  Happy birthday

A Letter to My Son on His 13th Birthday

Dear Hayden,

I cannot believe you are 13!  Or maybe I can't believe I am 13 years older!!!!!  I want you to know that I have never thought of you as a "step-son" but as a son.  I have enjoyed all the perks of being your "mom" without the pain of childbirth!  You are an amazing individual and I hope you never forget that.  It has been an honor to watch you grow into the person you are becoming and I am thankful everyday that I get to be a part of your life.  You are sweet, caring, loving, compassionate, sensitive, honest, and considerate (and a million other things I forgot to mention).  You are such an important part of this family, even before Ava came along and probably more so now.  You are an amazing big brother and I know Ava loves you so much and I hope you can continue to be close and spend as much time together as possible!  I hope that you have a wonderful day today and that it is everything you hope it to be.  I love you more than words can ever express and I hope you never forget who you are and what you mean to me and this family.

Love always,
Melinda

A Letter to My Daughter on Her Second Birthday (a little late)

Dear Ava,

After waiting and hoping for years for you to come, two years ago you finally graced us with your presence.  Your personality has amazed me since the day you were born.  You lifted your head up in the hospital, to now what I imagine was to feel included in the party!  And that has not stopped, sometimes to my frustration, like when you fight going to bed because you want to "hang out" with everyone!  You are incredibly intelligent and your personality fills the room.  Nothing brings me more joy than listening to you sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and hearing you laugh.  You have your ups and downs of course and I am ready for the terrible twos to be over.  I try to stay sane by telling myself that the tantrums and not listening come from you being so independent, which is a good thing.  I am not sure how I would have made it through the past year without you.  You are my heart, my reason for being.  I miss baby Ava but I am excited to see what you will continue to grow to become.  

1 Day Old

1 Year Old

2 Years Old