Nine

 Dear Ava,

I cannot believe that you are nine! Where does the time go. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. Each year I realize how not ready I am for you to grow up.😄

What a crazy year 2020 has been and not in a good way😏 I know it has been a struggle trying to do school from home. I know it has been frustrating and sad to not to see your friends. I hope you know that I have actually enjoyed the time. There will come a day when you don't want to spend time with me all the time or where you are not even living at home anymore so I have tried to cherish this extra time that COVID has given us, even when you are driving me up the wall. 

😡OMG - you certainly know how to push my buttons. You are strong willed for sure! I hope you channel that tenacity into something wonderful one day so it wasn't all wasted on just annoying me.

You are also so caring, sweet, funny, and silly and most of the time you brighten all of our days. Please stay that way. Be confident in who you are. Don't ever change for anyone. Teenage girls can be so mean and judgmental and I don't ever want you to doubt your worth or conform to "fit in". Being popular doesn't mean anything.💖 Kindness, caring, empathy, sense of humor, ability to see beauty in the world - those are the things that matter. 💖

I love watching you do gymnastics and I am proud of how hard you try to always do better. I love playing with you, or coloring, or doing crafts. You are so creative and smart.

It is an absolute pleasure to be your mom and I can't believe how lucky I am. Watching you grow has been one of the greatest joys of my life. You are so loved by so many and I hope you never forget that. Have a wonderful 9th birthday🎂 and keep being you.

Love Always,

Mom

A Letter to my Daughter on her First Birthday

A Letter to my Daughter on her First Birthday:

Ava,

I waited a long time for you; in fact I was convinced I would never have a child of my own.  Then on December 19, 2010, it was confirmed – you were on your way.  I am sure I will torture you for years to come on how much I hated being pregnant and how I could have skipped the whole labor thing all together but at 2:14PM on September 4, 2011, it was all worth it as we welcomed you into the world.  Everyone couldn’t wait to meet you – your brother Hayden, Grandma and Grandpa Jones, Auntie Angela, Auntie Liz, Auntie Amanda, and Uncle Tom were all there to greet you right away.  You were a miracle baby, a true blessing that came when I would need it the most.  I don’t think I can ever make you understand how much you have helped me through this last year which ended up being the best and worst year of my life.  Even though you are only a baby, I do not think I would have survived without you.  You have been the strength that I needed through a difficult time.  As sad as I am to watch you grow, I am also excited to see what you will do next, how you will change, and who you will become.  I apologize in advance for all the things that I will do that will make you mad or upset with me, but know they are done out of love (and maybe sometimes a lack of sleep!).  I hope as you grow up you will always know how much you are loved by me, your dad and so many others.  My hope for myself is that I can be even half the mother to you that my mother was to me and if I can succeed at that then you can succeed at anything.  You are a strong, smart, beautiful, and independent little girl and I hope that never changes.

I love you more than I ever knew was possible,

Mom

One day old

One year old